Written by mikewadestr

Monday, 4 June 2012

image for After Green Lantern's Lead Other Super Heroes Coming out of the Closet

After the Super Hero The Green Lantern came out of the closet with his lips puckered and lantern a blazing, other super heroes came out including the likes of Batman and Robin, The Hulk, Wonder Woman and Deputy Dog.

The reaction to the news was of muted relief as for years everyone was pretty convinced Batman and Robin had to be involved in a gay relationship. Why else would the effeminate dressed Robin constantly get himself hung up with the enemy only to be rescued by the more masculine Batman? If Batman was heterosexual he might have saved Robin maybe once or twice, but after that he would have just ditched him and gone to the Craigslist personals to get a new side kick.

"Batman is not gay, I can tell you that", stated long time comic book collector Joe Listliss. "I know this for a fact. When I met him at a comic book convention in March, he ended up taking my wife up to the hotel room for a quick game of humpty-dumpty. Now Robin on the other hand, I can see. He just kept jumping into the arms of you men throughout the night and crying: 'Save me! Save me!'"

Wonder Woman's sexuality was pretty obvious due to numerous 'business' trips that Hillary Clinton and Condoleezza Rice made to meet her at Themyscira for 'tea parties'.

While some dispute whether or not the Hulk is truly gay or maybe just experimenting, everyone pretty much agrees that Deputy Dog is a no-brainer. Every time I see him I can't help thinking about Brokeback Mountain.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Gay, Superheroes

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