Long Island Villager Gets 2 Years in Jail for Not Mowing Lawn

Funny story written by Dan Cun

Wednesday, 13 June 2012

image for Long Island Villager Gets 2 Years in Jail for Not Mowing Lawn
So What? It's Your Problem...Not Mine!

An 85 year old veteran was sentenced to 24 months jail time after he became the first resident to fall foul of Massapequa Park village's new law, which came into effect today which made it a criminal offense for homeowners not to maintain their properties, including lawns, fences, out houses and garages.

Mayor James Altadonna, who introduced the law, has no sympathy for the unnamed man saying "I don't care if he was in a wheelchair, he should have mowed his lawn now he is doing hard time, and he knew the rules!"

Aside from not mowing their lawns eyesores including full dumpsters, broken gutters, excessive litter, boarded-up doors and windows, unattended shopping carts and graffiti can land homeowners in hot water.

The owners -- including banks that have foreclosed properties -- have 10 days to comply with a village order to clean up their premises before stiff penalties are imposed. The first offense carries a penalty of up to $10,000 and two years in jail, there are no ifs or buts.

"People take great pride in this village and they take great pride in their property," said Altadonna "If you don't like it then move or better still hire a company to mow your lawn, or fix up your tardy property, there is one I can recommend, "Altadonna's Lawn Care Service, we, I mean they, do lawns, fix up guttering, will empty your dumpster, we, I mean they, can service all your needs. We have great rates, and what with this new law, especially for seniors, we kind of, I mean they kind of, fill a niche!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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