Heather Matarazzo is a crazed cougar

Funny story written by Kid Icarus

Saturday, 5 May 2012

image for Heather Matarazzo is a crazed cougar
Prison life is a way for woman to pay their debts to society.

A desperate looking female named Heather Matarazzo has been jailed for 40 years for craving a younger man she victimized.

Matarazzo also known as "The alley cat cougar", because she stocked young men in alleys as they walked home from college, was told she will have to serve 40 years - by far the toughest sentence ever handed out by a U.S. court to a female cougar.

Legal experts said the jail term was the same for manslaughter and other serious crimes. Being a common puss that's dime a dozen was not her best defense in a stinky affair that hit the fish market tabloids. If she would have been a princess, the outcome would have been different because royals are always treated better.

Matarazzo knew the young man since he was born and was at one stage like a mother-figure to him, according to his family.

His mother said: 'She was a close family friend. We had gone to the same church together for 10 years. Our children were friends. Our families were friends. We did everything together. It's impossible to describe how we felt to find out this was going on. I never imagined Heather was a cougar'

The victim's parents noticed a change in the relationship between their then 19-year-old son and Heather Matarazzo, saying she was acting more like a friend than a parental figure.

It was when they opened the boys Facebook page they realized something was wrong. The mother said: 'Never in a million years did I think I would find what I thought was evidence of inappropriate behavior between them. But there it was.'

The sentence was handed out after the mother of his victim spoke of her 'heartache and betrayal' after discovering her son was involved with Heather Matarazzo.

In an emotional impact statement to the court, the mother spoke of the loss of innocence of her son and how she is struggling to come to terms with what happened to him.

The mother said: 'As a mother of five boys, there are some things I've thought I would never have to worry about. April of last year our world was turned upside down. 'We were told by investigators that our son in college was a victim of a cougar named Heather Matarazzo. This was horrifying and unbelievable. I prayed that this was not true.

"She needs to be turned into a lesbian while in prison, so she could pay her debt," said the mother of the young man.

Prison officials gave her the name of "Wiener dog Joe," after she was introduced into the female prison system.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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