My Half an Hour as a Woman

Funny story written by radiogagger

Thursday, 12 April 2012

image for My Half an Hour as a Woman
Sweet as! A pool match I'll never forget!

If you haven't already read my week as woman by spoof writer IainB I point you in that direction without further ado - pure comedy gold - in comedy they say write about what you know - and what can you know more about than your own day to day life...

I'm not sure I could last a week but it did stir memories of something that happened to me almost 15 years ago - when I wore a dress to win a pool match.

Me and my mates are all decent pool players (one is now semi-pro) - we played together in a Wednesday night pool league. After the league season ended our local hosted a pool professional doing a pub tour where he played people for 20 quid a frame giving opponents a four shot start - if you didn't clear up in four shots - he was basically going to win the frame - starting off with a few safety shots, a snooker along the line to get two shots, and eventually clearing up.

The pro - Jellybean he was known as - won most of his frames and was running out of opponents after about an hour and a half - so with a couple of hundred quid in his pocket and keen to keep the momentum of the evening going he said he would give a 50 shot start to any woman (this was 1998 - I'm not sure equal opportunities would approve nowadays) OR anyone wearing a dress - so with a few defeats under my belt and a few drinks consumed the challenge was on and amid goading from friends the landlady Caroline took me upstairs to her private quarters and gladly provided the best of her wardrobe - and i think some make-up was added for effect.

Back downstairs to hoots of derision and wolf-whistles. I'm glad to say there was a happy ending for me - I won the frame with some shots to spare - got some cash back - and added to the evenings entertainment - friends claimed photos were taken but they never emerged (well not yet anyway)- thank God it was 1998 and not 2012 - no camera phones, no you tube and no facebook!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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