24 Year Old Excited to Age Gracefully

Funny story written by Couriernew

Monday, 16 April 2012

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Wrinkles Are So Beautiful When They're Not On You

Scranton, PA resident Kimberly Ellison plans to age gracefully.

"I've decided I'm not going to wear makeup or anything when I get older," said Ellison, who turned 24 last month and who once had to google the unfamiliar term, 'crows-feet'. "I just want to be myself, droopy wrinkles and grey hair and all."

A recent Penn State graduate who, despite frequent all-nighters, has never had dark circles under her eyes, Ellison took several womens' studies courses in college which she says gave her a growing awareness of the impact that the media has on the perception of female beauty.

"When you watch TV," she added, briefly furrowing her unlined brow, "so many of the commercials are for cosmetics that are supposed to make you look youthful. Women are under enormous pressure to remain young and beautiful for as long as possible, and to constantly combat any sign of aging. It's very unfair."

Ellison, a size 6 who has never cried in a dressing room after trying on a pair of shorts, explained that in her opinion, the deep lines, spots and sagging flesh that come with age are a sign of wisdom and maturity. She declared that when she eventually grew older, she would "love each and every wrinkle-- after all, they are a sign of everything I've been through! They'll be a constant reminder of how far I have come in life."

As a delicate blush enhanced her glowing complexion, she added, "If people can't accept the natural look of a mature woman, it's not my problem. They can deal with it. I happen to think sophisticated older ladies are gorgeous! Just look at Helen Mirren and Diane Keaton."

The tall, striking brunette, who has never been addressed as "ma'am" or ignored by a bartender while trying to order a drink, added that she has no plans to color her hair or have any sort of cosmetic surgery to enhance her looks as she ages. "I think it's important to embrace the changes you going through as you age," she said, pursing her full lips. "After all, growing older is a beautiful process."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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