Exhibitionist Enjoys Living in Surveillance State

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Monday, 23 April 2012

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Exhibitionist Kinsey MacDougall hopes the National Security Agency secures her - tightly.

For 28-year-old Kinsey MacDougall, knowing that United States government agents may be monitoring her personal email messages, cell phone calls and internet activity isn't a source of upset; it's a turn-on.

A self-acknowledged exhibitionist, Kinsey relishes the thought of her "private" life becoming more and more public with every passing day. For that reason, Kinsey was delighted at such developments as the recent changes in federal privacy laws and Google's privacy policy, which make the email messages of ordinary citizens more easily accessible by government entities like the National Security Agency.

"I'm not worried about my constitutional rights," explains the happy-go-lucky Kinsey. "Except for my right of free expression. Which for me generally involves nudity."

Unlike many of her less ostentatious friends who balk at the surveillance state that is now the U.S., Kinsey is not only not concerned that state agents may be viewing her personal email messages - she hopes they are. To make it more likely that her communications pique the interest of government groups, Kinsey takes care to include some sort of alerting phrase in the titles of the sex videos and nude photos she sends by email or text message. Some of her frequent captions include "terrorist torture", "missile launch", and "nuclear penetration."

Kinsey does sympathize with her the concerns of her more inhibited friends, who aren't similarly excited at the prospect of governmental privacy invasion. Nevertheless, she herself plans to continue having fun with the U.S. agents who may be spying on her. And she hopes they're having fun, too.

"I try to make it worth their while," she says. "And I think I do."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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