WASHINGTON (UPI-President George Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney have undergone extreme makeovers by world class cosmetic consultants to change their public images on the advice of White House advisor Karl Rove.
Bush emerged as a sultry auburn, while Cheney is now a stunning blonde siren, public images sure to enhance their standings in public opinion polls indicated Rove in an interview with this reporter.The image change was then publicly revealed at a well-attended White House news conference.
"We wanted to prove to the world that my Administration is not really a war-mongering, hateful government intent on grabbing foreign oil and world domination. We have a peaceful, feminine side too," the new Bush told the initially stunned reporters in attendence.
Cheney wise-cracked from the podium in response to some laughter from the back of the room. The chief executives then won everyone's hearts when Cheney and Bush belted out a resounding refrain from the 1960s hit musical Hello Dolly!
The pressroom then erupted with thunderous applause, and demanded other songs from the dynamic duet.
Rove then appeared on the makeshift stage and indicated that the US military will commence recruiting special personnel for a new "drag corps" to fight in Iraq.
"This new army will be sensitive to the needs of others, very, very sensitive, and they will wear special co-ed battle fatigues funded by Exxon Mobil and Chevron Texaco," he said. "They will help entertain the other troops as they guard the oil pipelines and other oil facilities throughout the Middle East."
Opinion polls showed that the public approved of the new image of the Bush Administration, with the president's rating quickly rising to 40%, still relatively low by historic standards however.
Bush and Cheney said that they will also give special guest appearances on Broadway and on TV to promote the often controversial policies of the Republican administration.
Senior officers in the Pentagon, as well as Republican legislators in Congress, and Republican jurists on the Supreme Court all said they "strongly supported" the image makeover, and that they would follow suit. MAC Cosmetics has been invited to supervise the changes.
The White House has also invited Estee Lauder and other leading cosmetic companies to the White House to offer consulting advice and discuss modeling contracts.