Written by Neil Levine

Monday, 6 March 2006

image for Cheeney To Fly To Iraq
Ole Fuddy Duddy In Action

Mirage of Armstrong Ranch Somewhere Deep In The Heart of Iraq---A deep pocketed and ultra secretive sub rosa Pentagonal think tank has fostered a full fledged strategic initiative to turn Vice President Dick Cheney's penchant for silencing his ill perceived critics into a national asset in The Ongoing War on Terror by parachuting the Veep, in full military regalia, his chest emblazoned with victorious patches and covered by fully loaded bandoleros of metallic flak crossing his chest , into Iraq in broad daylight to warn potential Al Qaeda sympathizers of what can happen to them if they do not watch their backsides. "A Bowie knife clenched in his teeth would heighten the image," an undercover agent has suggested.

Furthermore, an unnamed press aide has suggested he can start out taking pot shots at whatever catches his fancy. "That should put the fear of god into anyone watching. Just take a look at Cheney's previous victims. They look like they escaped a zombie horror movie. They appear to be deadly walk overs."

"There is a good chance we can beam a news special on Al Jazeera so everyone gets the message: don't mess with Dick Cheney or anyone else who cares about this Administration. There is just too much for steak. Think about it. If Washington doesn't protect your best interests, who else is going to shudder in your arms?"

Another strategic specialist suggested, "A retinue. What good is a government official without a following. We can recruit followers from all over and modulate the Veeps activities to make it look like he has overcome the fear of fear per se. That should let memories of his sniping abilities linger long after the thrill has gone."

The ongoing think tank sponsored discussion concludes that perhaps others even more high profile might be still more helpful providing security from recurring nightmarish images of frightful murders of innocent bystanders by what amounts to a extremist killer elite.

Such as?

Hollywood celebrities. People believe in star power. The mere thought of Hollywood media power counter attacking vicious scare tactics can shake the bejabbers out of terrorists and make them think twice clearly. You know a Frankenstein themed campaign advising folk to make love not war. Mickey Mouse being kind to strangers. Clint Eastwood asking potential terrorists, "Make my day!"

For those who want a sneak preview, rehearsals are to be staggered on the Armstrong Ranch, Texas with Harry Whittington and Katherine Armstrong and her mother, Anne, bearing witness.

"Ready on the Right! Ready on the Left!"

"All systems GO GO GO!" "Duck!" "Pull!" " Shoot!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Iraq, Dick Cheney

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