Written by Felix Minderbinder

Tuesday, 17 January 2006

image for Laura Bush Defends GOP "Culture of Corruption"
Laura Bush

MORONIA (Reuters) -- First Lady Laura Bush has acknowledged the truth of Democratic claims that Republicans are mired in a "culture of corruption" and she said she "wouldn't be glad at all" to campaign for the many sleazebag Republican candidates for Congress this fall.

"Sure, it's true," Mrs. Bush said of the "culture of corruption" charges in an exclusive interview here while supporting the inauguration of the president of Moronia, a Republican.

Mrs. Bush said she did not know how the Democrat accusations will affect the Congressional elections of Republicans in November.

"But I wouldn't be surprised if GOP candidates take a big dive due to their avarice, greed, sloth, gluttony and other sinful problems related to being on the take," she admitted.

But she made it clear that "there's certainly a role for bribery and everything that would be considered corrupt, especially in Washington and Iraq. After all, how would Halliburton, Bechtel and Exxon Mobil and their profits survive otherwise?" she asked rhetorically.

She added that disgraced lobbyists like Jack Abramoff played vital roles in buying politicians like her husband George and in setting public policy.

"The whole lobbying aspect of politics is unique to the United States," Mrs. Bush said. "This process has made the Bush, Cheney, Rove, Libby and Rice families very, very rich. That is how it should be, though."

She went on to state her opinion that widespread Republican corruption was why right-wing Republican judges like Sam "The Bagman" Alito are needed on the Supreme Court.

"He would help cover up a lot of painful things, and give George the Reich-like powers he needs to illegally spy on Americans, intern them in torture camps, and conduct war in order to steal oil from Persia and Iraq and from other innocent counties," she added. "Sammy will really stomp on any citizens who raise a finger in protest, I promise you that!"

She also said that she hoped that Alito would divert the mass movement to impeach her husband George.

Yet Democrats are expected to make the wide variety of Republican corruption charges a central theme in their efforts to win congressional seats in the midterm elections, as they fight against Alito and other Bush stooges and get going with impeachment proceedings.

On a lighter note, Mrs. Bush revealed that George's iPod listening includes songs by Ramstein, Rob Zombie, Alice Cooper, Nirvana, Marilyn Manson, Tina Turner and Dolly Parton. She also predicted that she would be elected president of the USA in 2008, and not "that Rice floozy."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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