Written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 28 October 2011

image for Michele Bachmann Campaigns In Kankakee, Illinois and Catches Hell From Some of The Crowd
The brown paper bag in which the very frugal Michele Bachmann keeps her cosmetics.

KANKAKEE, Illinois - Michele Bachmann's Hair Spray Across America Bus Tour found itself in Kankakee, Illinois, the home of Johnny Appleseed Instant Apple Sauce.

She was greeted by a group of well wishers who wished her presidential campaign well as they stood in the pouring rain.

Bachmann thanked them all and told them that she will show them that the American people are ready to see a woman sitting at the head of the table in the dining room at the White House.

The crowded cheered and clapped although the clapping was somewhat muddled by the torrential rain.

Bachmann said that she knows that the American people are tired of having men run the country ever since the days of George Washington and before him Abraham Lincoln.

The crowd looked at each other in sheer puzzlement. A male voice hollered out, "Hey Michele Washington came before Lincoln!"

"Sir, there are old women and young children present here, and I will thank you to stop using such vulgar, nasty, potty-mouthed language."

"Bite me!" Came back the retort from the same gentleman.

"Sir, I have a question." Bachmann asked as she wiped the rain from her sideburns. "Are you perchance a Democrat?"

"Kiss my ass, bitch" Came the reply.

"Okay then," Bachmann remarked, "He just answered my question didn't he folks?"

One little elderly lady with wet blue hair replied, "Ah no Miss Michele he really did not answer your question, I think he kinda more or less called you a bitch and told you to kiss his ass."

And on that note Michele Bachmann got on her bus and her 'Hair Spray Across America Bus Tour' headed east towards Indiana and the land where the little Hoosier bird is on the protected birds list.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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