'Queen too bloody lazy for riots visit' angry shopkeepers reckon

Written by queen mudder

Saturday, 20 August 2011


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for 'Queen too bloody lazy for riots visit' angry shopkeepers reckon
You're a lootin coke-tootin bastard, George, get your filthy mitts out of my knickers!

Manchester - Substituting Palace Z-listers and tag-along wannabes for Old Fatty Mountbatten dragging her arse down is no excuse, disgusted riot-torn Mancunians warned today.

"Too damn scared hoodies will torch her bonnet, eh?" retired kebab caff owner Reggie Bap-Trotter told the Strangeways Observer.

"What we're seeing is a dilution of knobless oblige - ancient monarchial duties going back to Magna Get-Carter.

"Wouldn't have happened if the Old King was still around!"

Neighbors were worried the presence of publicity-famished self-serving twats 'like Charles and Camilla' - and other simpering, self-publicist fools - had cheapened an already tarnished royal image.

Last week media reports suggested the House of Windsor had been let off scot-free from looting the Civil List and Crown Estate £££s.

"It's rubbed some nasty smelling salts into a festering proletariat wound," social hysterian Dr David Starkers commented as a megabux pay cheque landed on his doormat following an appearance on the Beeb's Newsfright the other day.

But the criticism was dismissed at Balmoral where HM is recuperating from a quickie conscience transplant that will help her immune system ward off more controversy.

"Besides, the Queen doesn't 'do' plebeian hellholes," Palace Chamberlain Lord Luce-Cannon snorted, "for fear of local vermin - er...moths! - attacking her precious cashmere.

"Wanna see pix of Tossing The Caber at the Balatter C**nty Show?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more