Written by whatinthe world

Saturday, 16 July 2011

Nigel Thornton Mallard Unwin-Rogers was released from prison today after a six year sentence.

Who is Nigel Thornton...etc you ask? He was imprisoned following his reluctance to pay a fine of £1,268 imposed when he drove his automobile on the wrong side of the M4 motorway.

In protest at his imprisonment, Nigel embarked on a hunger strike to draw attention to his cause. Unfortunately he overindulged the hunger striking and lost in excess of 300 pounds; so much so that he left prison in a matchbox.

His wife walked out with Nigel encased in the one inch square match box as press journalists gathered to grill him about his sentence.

"Are you going to write a book about this?" asked one Times journo.

"As soon as I get out of this box" answered the ex prisoner. "It must be hot in there?" enquired a Sun reporter. "Yes, bleedin' steamy" replied Nigel. "What's it like to be a matchstick?" asked the same reporter. "Groovey, actually. And thanks for asking" he responded.

Unwin-Rogers blames his lawyer for getting him in prison in the first place. "The guy was a fruitcake and had no professional abilities whatsoever. In fact he used to be dustman before he took on my case." revealed Nigel.

The ex prisoner says he will play plenty of golf and the odd game of solittaire. What????!!!!!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Hunger

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