An Iowa farm wife has contacted various news and wire services with the fantastic, if true, claim that her husband can cure world hunger.
Francesca Delaney of Madison County, claims her husband, farmer, part time inventor, Jeb, has successfully grown corn from his anus.
"Jeb was always inventing something, he'd go out to the barn, and just 'tinker' as he'd call it. Well he was 'tinkering' sometime last week, right before supper, and I just figured he didn't hear me aringing the bell. So I go out to the shed window, right off his 'tinkering' area? And there he was, producing a full ear of corn from his, uh, backside."
"Well, I was so surprised, and the look on his face, cause he didn't see me, I just thought the man is doing God's work, he was just so at peace."
When further questioned as to the authenticity of her husband's inventive nature Mrs. Delaney ran a list of amazing devices.
"He called it a transfriggmacallit, and it could produce a perfectly good, even scented pair of women's undergarments in the glove box of our ol' chevy truck.
That one works quite a bit, only there's a sizing issue with me. Then he's got a functional transporter, he just disappears for a couple of hours and then reappears, problem with that one is he forgets where he went.
But this one's a doozey, if you think about it, if everyone had the process to produce an ear of corn then we could solve world hunger. I asked him about it, he was mad at first, but he's so goll darn humble, he gets all red and all, and don't want to talk nothing bout it. He don't know it but I know he's trying to get some of the farm animals to learn the producing."
Mr. Delaney could not be reached for comment.
