London - The Red Top mobile hacking scandal took a reassuring turn for the better today.
News International boss and personal 'Big' Dave Cameron pal Rebekah Brooks invoked some legendary Dunkirk spirit with a gentle All Innit Together, Dave! nudge to the frantic PM.
The soothing words immediately saw some 'vile' phone bugging rumors scotched as frantic crime victims and their beleaguered families breathed a huge sigh of relief.
"Of course Rebekah should stay as Rupert Murdoch's CEO," a No 10 source said today, "she's examined her conscience and not found it lacking.
"Besides, as a 2015 working peer - think Baroness Brooks of Whopping, Isle of Dogs! - Ms Brooks will make a magnificent House of Lords media minister.
"Tisk, tisk, all you naughties, for even thinking Rebekah's a wrong 'un."
Reports that a Red Top snooping cover-up was personally sanctioned 'from the very top' have been rife ever since Tony and Cherie Blair were declared bankrupt in 1981.
Mrs Thatcher's senile dementia is, nevertheless, a legitimate defence.
