University Degrees Not Worth The Money - Top Academic Hits Back

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Tuesday, 14 June 2011


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Bending over backwards

A top academic has today launched a scathing attack on middle-class parents who feel that a university degree is no longer worth paying for.

Ken Lucid, controversial Head of History at Maidenhead University, described the findings of a new survey "appalling" and the respondents "bloody ignorant morons!"

Independent education organisation Edge surveyed more than 500 people in the £15,000 to £40,000 income bracket. Half reckoned a degree is not worth what it was a decade ago.

"These results are appalling and anyone who says a degree isn't worth the bunce they have to shell out for it is a bloody ignorant moron," said the outspoken historian.

"I see that nearly two out five in the survey have changed their minds about sending their little darlings to university. Well bloody good show!

"Too many delicate brats come here expecting it to be a doddle and get miffed at us when they walk out with a poor third - or worse.

"My staff bend over backwards just to get some of these dopey berks into the third year."

Prof Lucid argued that a history degree at his university was worth "every bloody penny" but conceded that some qualification might be of less value.

"What's that media studies all about? A little bit of journalism, a taste of TV production, film directing 101 and all that bollocks. Dangerous... turns out bloody jacks of all trades who think they know it all, if you ask me."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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