Isle of Wight News - Manhunt for Suicide Bomber Intensifies

Funny story written by victor nicholas

Sunday, 29 May 2011

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A call centre has been set up

Ryde - The shocking explosion set off by what police believe was a suicide bomber in a local mattress factory has set off one of the largest manhunts in recent memory to track down and apprehend the villain.

News of the explosion has only surfaced recently due to material evidence discovered. Most likely the large numbers of mattresses in the factory muffled the sound of the explosion and the explosive effect of the bomb but the potential consequences were no doubt lethal if the explosion had taken place in public.

Constable Mike Millington said evidence including a leg with a trainer laced on, an arm with a piece of a hoodie and wristwatch on it along with a very substantial pool of blood have given investigators some very fine evidence that should give promising leads for apprehending the suicide bomber before he strikes again.

"We believe that we only have to line-up a few suspects, match the known trainer with that of the suspects like Cinderella and quick as Bobs your Uncle shackle the scoundrel and take him away for due punishment."

Millington has used local radio to request help from local citizens to form a dragnet to close in on the perpetrator.

"We are counting on assistance from the public in helping us track down a one-armed and one-legged man wearing a partial hoodie, not very likely to be wearing a watch."

"Judging by the extent of the pool of blood at the crime scene we strongly believe that the suspect has not travelled far from the crime scene."

Millington frowned when asked who could possibly take responsibility for the bombing.

"No doubt this was the work of a terrorist group who sought to gain notoriety by safely setting off a large dangerous explosion very quietly in the type of place that only a mattress factory could provide."

The world is a very dangerous place today indeed.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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