Isle of Wight News: Online Forum Highlights II

Funny story written by Erskin Quint

Thursday, 17 March 2011

image for Isle of Wight News: Online Forum Highlights II
"Have not cows been passing wind for centuries?"

OUR WEEKLY SELECTION FROM THE FORUMS AT allwight.web>visiting>our towns>what our towns have to offer


please register to post on the forums

allwight.web-forums>living>looking for island people

BERNARDO posted 5 Oct 2010:
I have no human to seke but I did see a lovely little marmalade cat last, Eastre at my gait. When I went inside to fetch my camura and some brokken biscuites for the litle chap can, you imagine my disquite at findin him gon, he, has has nevre returned to my premise. I, liv-e nr. Mottistoane, havfe yew sine such a pusse lattelie?? I liv-e inne hoape.

GUBINZ posted 7 Oct 2010:
Durty old man seekz ginjr pussi!

BEKIGIRLYGIRLBEKI posted 17 Oct 2010:
Hi i am after (lol) a boy ani boy will doe!

KELLIGURLL posted 17 Oct 2010:
Yore a slagg Bekz you dogg! ROFLMAO

ALLWIGHT.WEB posted 23 Nov 2010:
This thread is now locked.

allwight.web-forums>general>topical debate>this Facebook threat

MONTY FARGO posted 11 May 2010:
Facebook is killing the life on most forums, including this one. My IOW dating site has suffered a 65% downturn in hits last quarter. This forum will be next, it would be a shame to see yet another forum we value bite the silver bullet too.

BEMBRIDGER posted 24 Nov 2010:
Hear hear Monty! You're an old whiner but you get the discussion going, I could do with you on my site

MONTY FARGO posted 11 Dec 2010:
I tell it like it is and call a spade a spade a spade a. Your posts are always useful.

NUZ posted 15 Dec 2010:
Not just Facebook - what about Twitter, Bebo, Russian Brides For Sale, Dachshund-Mad?

That having said, this forum helps people with details you probably won't get from these social-network sites. I can not find on Twitter/Bebo/Facebk any details on the opening time of the Bembridge Neolithic Beehive. It's not on this forum either TBH but that's not the point, if it was that would only prove the exception to rule it.

GIMLET posted 03 Jan 2011:
Of lately, I have found this forum tedious to use. It takes 3 days to load the pages, and all afternoon to type out and send your posts. Maybe that is why hits are down, people are diversifing to Twitter.

ZYGOTSKYZ posted 17 Jan 2011:
I heartedly agree, with when I am at posted, thes discursionns, I replpy wto day in advances, thes replires afterso, my anwser sene befour his resplonse, hense I am askingn quitesionz in adzvnses of the anserwes! Ansers befor questinos,linkes?

COLONELNOSTRUM posted 17 Jan 2011:
It takes so long to register your replies to posts, that once, I ended up replying just before someone repeated the question I was replying to, so that it seemed that I was replying in advance of the question. Talk about deja vu but I am not gifted sadly it is the forum slowness!

TOTLANDREBEL posted 19 Jan 2011:
When I left this forum never to return, my last word was "So that is me then" on the "Age of the Moron" thread. This thread I began as I am concerned at the levels of brainwashing propaganda propagated by the powers that be, namely to the effect that it is humans responsible for alterations in the Earth's climatics, which of course is utter rot, it has been changing for many years, but also the myth that we can beat Mother Nature when all along it is she who is in charge and us the mere creations of the Mother Creator Supreme. It is plain to see checking in here after leaving for good in my "Age of the Moron" thread that the vast majority of the human race do not contribute to this forum or are just not logged in. This begs the question which is what I have put to Leader of the Council David Pugh on many a missive sent and an attempted face to face encounter albeit in disguise(thwarted by the Pugh henchmen when my beard became askew I am afraid but I shall regroup).

My own suspicions are twofold - that these forums being indirectly vetted and under the aegis of Mr Pugh, are no way representative of the vast unspeakable mass of humanities. Also that most are apathetic, be it towards fixes links, secure salaries, pensionable age, windmills, coke tins and bottles, unsolicited opinion polls, spurious government officers, vast heaps of waste paper, the Euro mountains, tax evading fat cats, the threat of urban ren...[000appbdzerq67600000maximum character limit reached3453544XXXds34000]

VENTNORBEACON posted 26 Feb 2011:
Moving into Facebook etc beats the first object in having a forum in the first place that being to attract people to your site not to others. There are a number of social network sites on the island including my own at but they do not leap out at people on google or appear amongst your inbox. As ever the small man is obliterated in a sea of spam and false identities. The Tower of Babble I call it. Help!

GUBINZ posted 5 Mar 2011:
Gobshytes rules OK!>general>topical debate>cow dangers

CARISBROOKELAD posted 7 Mar 2011:
What is behind all the taile's of folk been attacked by cow's. Not this year, but a year or two back it was of been in the New's. Beside's the animal's been disturbded, there is a cost to the farmer who's land it is has of been opened up to walk through, next thing farmer's will have to put up with more health in safetie's law's about cow pat's. I hea'r many complai'ns from island newbie's, around crow call's, wind, coast's mist's, noise of the Bembridge Windmill, cattle's hoof's, frogge's pawn's, zinc sheeting been stacked in my yard. I surgest estate's agency's have a leaflet, also tourist centre's, on country life, cow's habit's ek cetra's.

TOTLANDREBEL posted 7 Mar 2011:
This is just what I was saying as I got cut off. I believe cows attack humans due to being angry at being blamed for global warming due to their emitting methane in their droppings and wind. Have not cows been passing wind for centuries? Why is it now they are to blame for climate disasters? Cows, like most thinking people, have had enough.

MRSPARCEL posted 12 Mar 2011:
Here at Rookley I often hear the poor cows crying day and night with great abandon, is it because of their calfs been taken away for veal? Perhaps they want to try to eat our flesh as we eat theirs. Give them knives and forks. Will they have onion rings? How would you like to eat hay and stand in a field with no privacy to your soiled hind quarters as the cow does, reversible rear knee joints or not? Shoes or hoof? I think we know the answer.

GUBINZ posted 15 Mar 2011:
Mad cow dizeeze strykes agin.

allwight.web-forums>general>questions and answers>egg cups

TUTTY posted 15 Jan 2011:
Does anyone know of a spare egg-cup I might borrow, only for a short period, I have an Uncle staying, who likes boiled eggs, I never eat them, in consequence have no egg-cups in the house.

BILL posted 12 Mar 2011:
I have a quaintance, a Mrs Spopes, of Alverstone, who has a few egg-cups. They are all pale blue, however, should this be a problem I don't know where to suggest, maybe a egg shoppe? I once ate a egg, having no cup I cut the egg-boxe up to make a mocke egg-cuppe have you tried this resorte?

allwight.web-forums>general>questions and answers>self cleaning places

ANTLERZ posted 10 Feb 2011:
Are there any self-cleaning places in either Shalcombe or Nettlestone does anyone know?

allwight.web-forums>general>questions and answers>genuine costume enquiry

RINGO posted 27 Nov 2010:
I am seeking a cowboy outfit to suit an adult of restrictive growth who will be wearing it while riding a shetland pony on Culver Down, or a pirate uniform for use by a grown woman opposite a grown man (me) dressed as Nelson near St Catherine's Oratory ("The Pepper Pot"). If the weather is inclement, your suits may get wet and mudded but we will cleanse them fully. Genuine replies only.

allwight.web-forums>living>leisure and recreation

LENQUOITER posted 4 Jan 2011:
I write to advertise our desire to create a Back O' The Wight Quoits League. Atlantic Deck Rules preferred but other suggestions taken on board. Mixed teams welcomed. Expansion to a Sister League at Ventnor a distinct possibility. Any thoughts from island quoiters?

GUBINZ posted 15 Feb 2011:
Peter Night b4 u goto bed!

ALLWIGHT.WEB posted 21 Mar 2010:
All right, you're banned sunshine.

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