A Furious Queen Elizabeth Issues An Official Directive Stating That Buckingham Palace Does Not Condone Any of Pippa Middleton's Actions

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 13 May 2011

image for A Furious Queen Elizabeth Issues An Official Directive Stating That Buckingham Palace Does Not Condone Any of Pippa Middleton's Actions
Queen Elizabeth may be smiling on the outside but on the inside she is literally seething. (Photo courtesy of Boy George).

LONDON - A high ranking employee of Buckingham Palace has stated that the word at Buck House is that the queen is as angry as a disturbed hornet.

The source said that ever since way before the Royal Wedding the queen has been extremely stressed out. Part of the problem was with her having to cut the invited wedding guest list from 7,832 down to 1,900.

And some of those individuals who were cut made no bones about the fact that they were extremely upset with the queen for being removed from the list.

Some of these noted individuals include President and Mrs. Barack Obama, Oprah Winfrey, Simon Cowell, Brett Favre, Kim Jong Il, Petula Clark, Ke$ha, Boy George, The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, and Bollywood's Aishwarya Rai.

Brompton Boxgrove of The Tickety Boo News reported that the famous Indian actress Aishwarya Rai is so angry at Queen Elizabeth that she has vowed to never again travel to England, eat crumpets, or listen to Beatle songs even "A Hard Day's Night" which is her all-time favorite.

Boxgrove pointed out that another thing that has really upset the queen is the fact that at the wedding reception the Rolling Stones who performed for the guests failed to play one of the queen's favorite songs "Honky Tonk Women" as she had personally asked lead singer Mick Jagger to do.

When Jagger was reached at his vacation home down in Tegucigalpa, Honduras he replied that he and the lads did play the song and that they actually played it twice.

Mick giggled and said that the second time the band played it, Charlie Watts, the bands drummer sang the lead part so that he (Jagger) could dance with the queen.

Jagger asked Boxgrove how old the queen is. When told that she is 85, Jagger put his curled left index finger in his mouth. He shook his head and took a swig from his bottle of Southern Comfort, and simply replied, "No comment."

Boxgrove has stated that the queen informed him that she wanted for him to tell the viewers of The Tickety Boo News that she is very embarrassed at the way that Pippa Middleton is conducting herself.

She said that both her and Philip have sat her down and had a good long talk with her, but it is as if they were talking to Charlie effen Sheen (her words).

And so Queen Elizabeth wants it made perfectly clear that neither her, nor Prince Philip, nor anyone associated with Buckingham Palace in any way, shape, or form condones the actions of Pippa Middleton.

Tickety Boo News will bring you any new official Buckingham Palace directives as they are decreed by her royal majesty.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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