New BBC TV soap coming to our screens.

Funny story written by Tommy Twinkle

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

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The BBC have announced they are to bring a new television soap to BBC1 later this year. To be set in East London just like their current 'EastEnders' the new soap will present a more realistic account of the day to day lives of people who live in London's East End today.

Announcing the new soap from the BBC's Television Center at Wood Lane yesterday a spokesman for the corporation offered television license payers the following general idea of what they can expect to find from the new soap when it is unleashed onto our screens sometime this summer,

"Unlike 'EastEnders'" he said, "this new soap will show life in the East End of the capital as it really is. There won't be the frequent conversations with the neighbors, and only very rarely will the characters be seen in the local pub. People don't have the money to go drinking every night of the week these days and the price of a pint in pubs has led many to prefer to buy a few cheap cans of beer from a supermarket instead then drink them at home watching TV. In fact we're thinking of starting the very first episode by showing the boards going up on the local pub as it closes down for good."

"In the real East End of London most people leave home early in the morning to drive to work, often miles away, return home again around seven o'clock in the evening, and then just close the front door on the world. A microwave meal in front of the telly follows, and then they basically sit there watching the box in silence with their family until around midnight when they go to bed, sleep for a few hours, and then the next morning they go off to work again."

"Those are the sort of storylines we'll be focusing on. Obviously there'll have to be included in each episode occasional short conversations between the characters but we won't be showing any unrealistic lengthy chit-chats. It'll just be a nod as residents leave for work with perhaps a few words about the weather. The main community meeting place will be at the newsagents on the corner where the residents buy their scratch cards and do the lottery."

"We do realize that by keeping the storylines so real to life could make the soap unpopular with viewers but we feel that might not be such a bad thing. It would encourage people to use the off-switch on their televisions more often than they do. In fact, with their own lives being so closely portrayed by the boring characters on the screen might even get them to start talking to their neighbors like people did before they had televisions!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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