Guitarist Mick Ralphs Sparks Riot In Chiswick

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Monday, 25 April 2011

image for Guitarist Mick Ralphs Sparks Riot In Chiswick
A guitarist yesterday.

A leafy west London suburb was waking up this morning to the aftermath of rioting allegedly caused by a rock legend.

Mick Ralphs, formerly of Mott The Hoople and Bad Company, featured as guest guitarist with Son Maxwell's Unruly Blues when they played their fortnightly gig at Chiswick's Tabard Inn on Sunday night.

Mott The Hoople were successful in the 1970's with such hits as All The Young Dudes, All The Way From Memphis and Roll Away The Stone. Ralphs went on to join Paul Rodgers, of Free, to form 'supergroup' Bad Company, who triumphed with records Can't Get Enough Of Your Love and Feel Like Makin' Love.

Son Maxwell's Unruly Blues are a regular fixture at The Tabard and when news filtered through west London that Ralphs was joining the band for the night, the pub was packed to the rafters.

Said one witness: "My mate was there and he said it all started well enough - the band play a blend of American and British blues and the audience seemed to be enjoying it.

"But as the gig wore on, some lads at the back - who looked as though they were old enough to know better - started shouting stuff like 'Honaloochie Boogie' and 'we want All The Young Dudes!' When the band didn't play the old hits glasses started to be thrown.

"My mate got out sharpish when one just missed his head!

"Fighting broke out and spilled into the street. As it escalated, riot police were called in as frightened customers tried to make their way home."

When we called The Tabard we were told: "What? No, we weren't aware of any trouble. As far was we are concerned the gig went off as normal and our customers went home peacefully.

"We are really proud to have someone of Mick's stature play here."

A spokesman for the Metropolitan Police said: "What is it with you and riots in Chiswick? We have no record of any mass trouble there."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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