Chiswick had a run-in with Hitler's war machine yesterday and was only saved thanks to the quick thinking of a Yorkshire tourist and a classical musician. The terrifying incident happened around 1.30 pm as local office workers and pensioners were...
English thespian Colin Firth is nailed on to win an Oscar for his sensitive portrayal of Colonel Gaddafi. The film, Gaddafi With The Golden Gun, based on the novel by Ian Phlegm, has won rave reviews from critics, even though it has not yet been...
A leafy west London suburb was once again clearing up and counting the costs after a night of violence, believed to have been sparked by the now infamous book The Dorking Review. The trouble began after previously unknown internet comic genius Mar...
A Chiswick organist has been accused of performing vibrato on an elderly woman in a church vestry. Turnham Green resident Humphrey Nonce was allegedly seen with 69 year old Doris Clunge sitting on his organ by local cleaner Chiswick Flo: "I wa...
Geek Porn films are proud to announce a strictly limited event celebrating the Dalek invasion of Turnham Green. A private screening of a rare and controversial film will be shown at The Doctor Who Convention which takes place at the Gerorge 1V com...
Chiswick is facing it's biggest pussy crisis to date, according to local resident Flossie Clunge: "They sometimes keep me up all night" said Miss Clunge, a retired cleaner from Turnham Green. A refusal by owners to neuter their pussies is being c...
Reports are coming in from Chiswick that a band of rowdy yoga mums have looted the artisan bakery and made off with all the walnut and sun blushed tomato bread. The angry mob, wearing pink pashminas to cover their faces, were seen to perform seve...
A west London man is demanding to know why rioters who have run amok in London over the past few days have ignored Chiswick. Garfield Menshevik, 42, was looking forward to an enforced day off after watching the riots on the TV news on Monday night...
Residents in a west London suburb were on the lookout today after a mystery blonde was spotted taking part in what has been described as an "alcohol trafficking scheme." Dave Handset, of Wavendon Avenue, Chiswick, was looking forward to a Friday a...
A leafy west London suburb was waking up this morning to the aftermath of rioting allegedly caused by a rock legend. Mick Ralphs, formerly of Mott The Hoople and Bad Company, featured as guest guitarist with Son Maxwell's Unruly Blues when they pl...
As he waves at the world's cameras from the BAFTA red carpet tonight, Colin Firth's Chiswick neighbours will be experiencing mixed emotions. On one hand, of course, they want their local film star to win the best actor award for his portrayal of K...
Riot police are preparing for a running battle with angry residents in the leafy west London suburb of Chiswick. Patients at Chiswick Health Centre are angry at changes to the National Health service proposed by Health Secretary Andrew Lansley.
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