Barrowboy takes the bus

Funny story written by IainB

Tuesday, 26 April 2011

image for Barrowboy takes the bus
The 52 stops in Didcott Field for today only

When fourteen year old Reece Furness realised he had got on the wrong bus, heading for Dalton instead of Walney Island, he did what any youth from Barrow would do: he hijacked the bus.

"I was scared for me life," said pensioner Betty Newbiggin. "This spotty youth leapt from his seat and put a knife to the drivers throat."

Furness made all the passengers leave the bus, but when the driver Martin Lindal refused to drive the bus back to Walney Island it got ugly.

"He was like some kind of maniac," said Lindal. "You hear about stories like this, and I was taking any chances. I wanted off that bus."

Cumbrian Bus company, who run the service, have praised Lindal's bravery.

"Many bus drivers would have capitulated," said lawyer for CBC, Dan Mascalles. "Mr Lindal was very brave by saying no. We'd rather he'd been braver still and overpowered the hijacker."

"I said to him 'if you kill me, you can't drive the bus yourself, and if you can you might as well let me off'," said Lindal. "He let me get off the bus."

Furness turned the bus around and headed back towards Barrow, remarkably stopping to pick up passengers, all of whom got taken to Barrow bus station before Furness headed for Jubilee Bridge. By this time the police were alerted to his theft, and had barricaded the bridge.

"We put several cars across the bridge," said Chief Constable,
Vicky Town. "There was no way he was getting across, and he knew it."

Furness did a hand-break turn on North Road and headed back the way he'd come. Furness careered the bus onto the A590 and was heading North when he lost control near the football club sending the bus into Didcott Field.

"Up until he lost control," said Mascalles, "He'd been doing pretty well. He should get out of juvenile detention by the time he's twenty-one, and when he does, we'll almost certainly offer him a job."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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