Written by grimbo

Tuesday, 19 April 2011

image for Church Of England Crackdown On Sham Christians

The Archbishop of Canterbury is to issue new guidelines to clergy in an effort to reduce the number of service users using the Church of England for non Christian purposes.

Rowan Williams has long been of the opinion that, in a desperate attempt to boost congregation numbers, some of his priests were increasingly turning a blind eye to flagrant abuse of church facilities.

The Archbishop is particularly concerned about the large number of churches in inner city areas that have seem to be targeted by distinctly non traditional worshippers.

Willams explained :

"I have reason to believe that one of our churches in Finsbury Park, London is being frequented by certain individuals who are definitely not wishing to partake of our doctrines.

"One group of olive skinned persons are dressed in glowing robes and led by a gentleman who seems to have a metal hook for a right hand. The local priest Father Eugene knows his face somewhere but can't quite place him".

The Archbishop is, however, reluctant to issue any kind of edict banning this group from entering the church in case he provokes claims of discrimination, but he has instructed Father Eugene to monitor the situation.

As regards claims that some worshippers at an Anglican church in Walthamstow, North East London are reportedly spending the whole of the service facing the rear wall while nodding their heads vigorously, Williams promised to instigate an immediate investigation.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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