Motorists "Delusional" Claim Engineers

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Tuesday, 12 April 2011

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A third of motorists are happy with the state of Britain's roads, a survey has revealed.

The figure of 32 per cent is down from 64 per cent who were happy with the roads when the survey began in 2008.

Carried out by the Institute of Civil Engineers, the survey finds that most people's complaints concern the number of potholes.

Said an Institute spokesman: "We are very happy that these figures are falling so rapidly. Anyone who finds Britain's roads acceptable is clearly delusional.

"Every year we hand the findings of our survey to the Institute of Brain Shrinkers when we meet up at the Top Institutes' Christmas Party (the kids love it!). They then go out and try to sort out the heads of the drivers who think the roads are OK.

"Once these poor souls regain their sanity, the state of the roads dawns on them and they rejoin reality.

"As the figures attest, our collaboration is working rather well. It should only be a couple of years before we get the figure down to the absolute minimum.

"Obviously there are some nutters out there who will always swim against the tide, claiming the roads are just fine and clearly they shouldn't be allowed behind the wheel. But that's someone else's problem."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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