Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have today demanded that Edinburgh airport be renamed 'Susan Boyle Airport'.
"We believe she's the most important Scottish person who ever lived, in the history of the world, so we demand that the airport is renamed," said an angry old dear with a red scarf.
"We want to see Susan's name in huge lettering as soon as we get off the plane for our bi-weekly Blackburn invasion!" said a chief fanatic.
"We think the airport should be lined with quilts! We have hundreds of them in production!" grinned a woman making yet another quilt.
As well as the name change, the fanatics are making further demands.
"We want a huge solid gold statue of Susan in the departure lounge! Our wealthy husbands are quite happy to pay for it. Well, if they don't we'll hide their nitroglycerin!" cackled a fanatic.
"We will need a special area just to land our private jets. I'm not slumming it on some horrible commercial flight full of peasants when I come to Blackburn to do some SuBo stalking!" grumbled some old dear draped in diamonds. "We'll also need a private parking lot just for our chauffer-driven limousines," she continued.
The fanatics are also demanding a duty-free Tacky Gift Shop and a fanatics-only lounge.
"We want a special 'Red Lounge' just for us when we invade the area yet again. It will play nothing but Susan's music, serve lemonade from crystal glasses, and fish&chips on silver platters," demanded a wealthy fanatic.
"We also want a top hairdresser on standby. Our hair may blow slightly out of place in the Scottish wind. We can't have the natives thinking we're poor," demanded another fanatic.
The spokesperson for the airport was unavailable for comment. "He's still hiding in the toilet from the last time the fanatics visited!" said the receptionist.
