Jackson statue covered in bird shit

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 4 April 2011

image for Jackson statue covered in bird shit
Birds give their verdict on the dodgy Fulham FC erection

London - A flock of Siberian swallows from the red-breasted sapsucker family is suspected of dumping all over the Craven Cottage statue unveiled by Mohammed Fayed on Sunday.

"They're emoting football fans' disgust at the effigy," Fulham Twitchers Club secretary Dave Bluetitz said today.

"Looks like the birds had just polished off a dodgy vindaloo from a nearby skip judging by the corrosion."

The 20ft plastic and acrylic erection was hastily hosed down by Fulham FC groundsmen as rival orinthologists blamed Libyan white breasted nuthatches for the sludgy trails.

Locals say the positioning of the Jackson statue is a bit of an enigma, notwithstanding the entertainer's 1999 visit to the football ground during a match against Wigan.

"Maybe it's a pun on 'craven' - meaning cowardly bastard - and 'cottage' - as in cottaging for rough trade, heheh," Fulham Palace Road resident Ernie Sharksmuller told the Hammersmith Spoof Argus.

Mohammed Fayed is 69.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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