Written by dutch

Sunday, 20 February 2011

image for Boris Is Hoping To Be Cameron's Successor
Boris Johnson for King!

Ambitious Boris Johnson is hoping to be able to take advantage of Cameron's unpopularity and to succeed him if he faces a vote of no confidence.

The blonde haired buffoon was taking Cameron's ideas for the Big Society and recycling them as his own.

The Mayor of London claimed that he was encouraging wealthy people to be philanthropic in the same ways that the Victorians were. He claimed that wealthy Victorian people felt it was their moral duty to pay to found schools and hospitals. In those days the wealthy thought that it was their duty to try and help the hoi polloi.

Controversial Boris hit out at the wealthy Brits who have not been willing to donate their cash to fund the building of new civic buildings such as schools and libraries. He said that it was about time the wealthy Brits opened their wallets and showed some philanthropy towards the lower classes. He said that instead of blasting the bankers and criticising the governments policies that the wealthy should set an example by donating their money to civic projects.

The motor-mouthed politician said that in America it was quite acceptable for the wealthy to splash the cash and publicly give money for major projects. He said for some reasons us Brits are too modest to publicly been known as philanthropists. It would be good for Britain if the wealthy followed the example of some of the mega-wealthy Americans such as Bill Gates whom have donated 'shed-loads' of money.

One wealthy constituent said, "That is a bit rich coming from the Tories, why should we give more of our hard-earned cash when we are being bled dry by their taxes?"

It appears that Boris misjudged the public mood in his hope for support from his London constituents. He modestly said, "I've not got a snowball's chance in hell of succeeding Dave Cameron, but if they for some reason ask me to take on the top job I will of course step up to the plate and offer myself in service to this country."

Sam Cam is said to be livid by Boris's remarks and the implied limpness of her husband's policies. She is said to be sharpening up her stilettos to attack the bouffanted buffoon at the "White Tie" conservative fund-raising, black tie, bun-fight.

She said that Boris should 'keep himself to himself and occupy himself ruining London Transport and making us a laughing stock at the 2012 Olympics".


The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
83 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more