Exorcism for Jo Yeates ahead of funeral

Funny story written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 8 February 2011


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image for Exorcism for Jo Yeates ahead of funeral
At Jo's pub the Bristol Ram tonight...

Bristol - (Last Frights): Thursday's Venus/Pluto conjunction in Capricorn will see Joanna Yeates' body receive extreme unction to avert bad karma in the forthcoming afterlife.

Unguents, incense and votive candles will form part of a ritual ablution in crystal clear waters gleaned from the Princess Diana Memorial Fountain.

Of course any algae or bits of stray duckweed will be first irradiated along with nappy microbes, dog hairs and gestating frogspawn.

The 6 degrees Capricorn conjunction demands use of a ceremonial copper altar to align earth energies correctly to the zodiac.

The rite will take place at the Bristol Hellfire Tabernacle in the Clifton Triangle area close to the Bristol Ram Pub.

Drinkers there spoke of their woe tonight at not being able to get a ticket to the event.

Some may now gatecrash the wake in Ampthill, Hampshire where Friday's funeral will also take place.

Tanja Morson is rumored to be sending a bouquet of honeysuckle and forgetmeknotts by way of a floral memento mori.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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