Christian couple to sue gay couple

Funny story written by IN SEINE

Thursday, 20 January 2011

image for Christian couple to sue gay couple
View of the Pink Emerald guesthouse from the boathouse side of the lake

Hezekiah and Deborah Bookbasher from Taunton decided to go for a weekend break at a guest house in the Lake District. The Bookbashers who have been married for 25 years wanted to make this weekend very special because it was the anniversary of their wedding day - they even booked a church to renew their vows, made all those years ago.

Deborah Bookbasher telephoned the guest home which is run by Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael, who just happen to be 2 gay Irishmen in a civil partnership and booked a double room for the weekend and she even asked if she could bring her dog.

She told In Seine News: "I think he said his name was Michael when he answered the phone. He was very, very courteous and gently spoken and had a very soothing Irish brogue, which I found quite attractive. He told me that on that particular weekend, several rooms would be available and to help us celebrate our anniversary, he would allow us to have the bridal suite for a 20% discount. It was an offer I could not refuse!"

"When the big day came, my husband and I travelled north to the Lake District - it must have taken us a good 5 hours. We located the guest house on the shores of Waste Water - it was a three-storey house painted in bright pink. I looked at Hezekiah and Hezekiah looked at me and I can remember crying "Oh Lord, what have you got us into?"

"You see, we are both devout Christians and do our best to show Jesus at work in our lives. We strongly believe that people can see the difference without the need for preaching - it puts people's backs up! In all our 25 years, we have seen scores of people drawn to us like moths to a candle and they just ask us questions about what we believe - such charisma is the work of the Holy Spirit. You do not need to ram it down people's throats. This is our ministry."

"We unloaded the car and carried our belongings on the gravel drive to the house. You won't believe this, but we still have the same wedding dress and suit that we had 25 years ago and guess what? They still fit. Even after all these years we have not put on any weight. We have even been using the same Bibles throughout all our married life. We truly cherish the word of God!"

"As soon as we entered the premises we were met by a small fellow with red hair who said: "the top of the morning to ya an' welcome to the 'Pink Emerald' guesthouse... an' what are your names?" I immediately recognised him as the man I spoke to on the telephone because of his mellow Irish tones."

"I said "I'm Deborah Bookbasher and this is my husband Hezekiah; I spoke to you on the phone the other day and we've come all the way from Taunton." Michael listened to me intently with one hand on his hip and the other one on his chin, whilst staring at my husband who was loaded with wedding paraphernalia, and of course, our cherished bibles."

"I noticed that his expression changed very quickly."

"It was then he gave us some alarming news; "I'm very sorry, but we cannot allow practicing Christians into our guesthouse!"

"This news was so shocking that I burst out crying. Wouldn't you? After a 5 hour drive, this was too much and it had totally ruined our weekend. However, we both refused to allow defeat to conquer us. We both had the deep conviction that God would provide for us. All we could do was to leave the guesthouse and find an alternative place to stay."

"The fact was God did provide for us; he found this beautiful boathouse for us, just across the lake whose proprietors just happened to be Christians too - the Lord does work in mysterious ways!"

"But out of principle, we intend taking legal action against them and suing for damages. Any claims awarded to us (and it could reach thousands of pounds) will be given to the poor and needy, such as vaccinating 100,000 African children.

"I wonder if we'll win? "

"Jesus did say Christians will be persecuted! "

Stonewall made no comment.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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