Coventry Housing Problem Sparked By 'Silent Treatment'

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 24 January 2011

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Don and Ron: sent to Coventry by their mother 60 years ago. She hasn't spoken to them since

Coventry, the UK city that was remorselessly and relentlessly bombed by Adolf Hitler's Luftwaffe during the Second World War, now has a huge housing problem due to the fact that, in recent years, so many people have been sent there after arguments.

Despite massive investment during the 1990s, Coventry has been desperately short of housing stock for at least five years, a problem further compounded by the lack of understanding couples, especially, have for each other when trying to resolve domestic disputes.

One such example is Mindy Failyer from Nuneaton. She fell out with boyfriend Samkin Watson over a 'sexual issue' in December. She said:

"It was all over nothing. A tiny disagreement that we couldn't agree on. Without giving it a second thought, he sent me to Coventry."

Many more cases like Mindy's have been reported. John Chump from Blackpool told his 9-year-old son that he would have to wait until Dad had the cash before he could buy him an Xbox360. Says John:

"I ended up in the Midlands, too. He just wouldn't speak to me, even though I later bought him a Nintendo Wii. He says it's not the same! Kids!"

Two men who were sent to Coventry by their wicked mother 60 years ago, still live there, in a local park. Don and Ron Gubbins received 'the silent treatment' from mum after they were naughty aged 8. Says Ron:

"Mother was really very, very angry, and said she would never speak to either of us again. True to her word she didn't, and now we live in Coventry."

The fact that so many people have been sent to Coventry has placed an enormous strain on the authorities there. One council official told us that displaced persons now account for more than 35% of Coventry's residents, with many sleeping in parks, car parks or shop doorways. Mary Qwerty, an executive officer, said:

"We are under extreme pressure here in the Midlands. If only people would exercise a little restraint, and talk to each other, perhaps not so many of them would end up in Coventry."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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