A gay man was given a stern ticking-off from the local judge yesterday after being caught causing a public nuisance.
Larry Sabu, 20, was in a slightly drunken haze after a night's entertainment at the Blue Oyster Bar, when he stumbled down the street, pissing and cursing at all and sundry.
He grabbed hold of a one-legged war veteran named Willy Parsnip - who was enjoying a midnight walk, and, gripping him by the wooden leg, Larry swung him around in a arc before depositing him in a heap on the cold ground.
But Larry was not yet finished.
He carried on a little further and came upon upstanding local citizen Micky Jones who was enjoying his regular midnight stroll.
Larry pulled Micky around in a circle - he later claimed he was re-enacting that scene in Titanic where Kate and Leo do some shite dance down below - then forced him up against a wall and slapped his arse with the back of his hand.
Larry's reign of terror had one final twist, as he surprised 'Jonathan Jooster', the town's faithful and beloved rooster - who was having his midnight stroll down the main street.
The animal was manhandled and shoved down Larry's trousers. The creature, struggling for air, had to poke its little head out from the fly of Larry's 1970's era flared bell-bottoms.
Larry was found guilty of being drunk and disorderly.
Court adjourned sentencing until they could extract Jonathan Jooster from Larry's trouser leg.
