University Challenge Review? World Holds Its Breath.

Written by Ellis Ian Fields

Monday, 13 December 2010


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Ellis Ian Fields searches for the lost Colonel.

The world was holding its breath today (Monday) during the approach to the latest round of popular TV quiz show, University Challenge.

As the members of the teams from Merton College, Oxford and Queens' College, Cambridge girded themselves for the fray, the question on everyone's lips was: "Will Colonel Juan review the show?"

Colonel Juan, a top writer on noted satire website TheSpoof, had been reviewing the inter-university quiz every week. Contestants and readers alike eagerly awaited his weekly verdict on the Monday night tussles of knowledge.

But after posting a news story on November 8, the popular Bolivian ex-dictator mysteriously disappeared from the website - appearing only briefly last Saturday to ponder on the results achieved when searching for "Simon Cowell Cunt" on the internet.

As a result, the show has gone unreviewed for several weeks and university and BBC sources have expressed dismay and bewilderment at the mysterious disappearance of a popular piece of journalism.

Said fellow writer and observer, Ellis Ian Fields: "In Premier League terms, this a 'massive' match tonight - Oxford v Cambridge for a place in the quarter-finals.

"But will the Colonel come out of hiding to give us the benefit of his wit and wisdom on the performance of the teams?

"Who can say? All we can do is sit and wait - and pray, I suppose, if that floats your boat."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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