London - (Reuterus): The Middleton sisters' will launch their titillating nude Advent treat at the Royal Albert Hall this weekend.
Advent's meaning of 'the coming' will really burst alive with the bronzed and beautifully Brazilianed gals' naked ambitions showcasing a series of strutting, suggestive Xmas poses.
Using 3-D holograms of them cavorting seductively against a snow, holly and tinsel backdrop the calendar is bound to send testosterone levels soaring.
Starting with 1st December each day of the month - (but not THE day-of-the-month...) - displays scratch-and-sniff windows of the sisters tossing off ...their kit!
This includes wet see-thru T-shirts, nipple-peep brassieres, leatherette panties/thongs/waspies, sparkly lurex stockings and thigh-high six inch stilletto-heeled crocodile skin boots.
A casual scratching off of the December 5th window sets off a pheromone-packed erotic aroma waft from the calendar.
"Think Chanel No 69, virgin Brazilian waxing strips, rubber corsets, Tequila Slammers and bong hits of finest Colombian cocaine all in one!" the accompanying publicity blurb giggles.
December 6th - St Nicholas's Day - sees scantily clad Kate and Pippa playing with multicolored festive nipple lights as they sit on a nude Santa Claus's lap eyeing up the reindeers' family jewels.
Critics have pointed out however that some of these alluring Xmas poses mirror Big Brother Sam and Amanda Marchant's own nude Advent pop-up calendar of 2007.
They cite three Advent windows - December 23, 24 and 25 - featuring the fabled Naked Interactive Holographic Bathtime Capers scene, the Steamy Xmas Eve
Hot-Tub Oral Examination (wow!) pic and the inimitable Yuletide Strawberry Milkshake Lapping Double Trouble shot.
The Marchants certainly scored bigtime with their 2007 Advent spectacular and have now retired on the proceeds, living the Life of Riley in Las Vegas.
Kate and Pippa meanwhile are confidently expected to make $5 million when their naked Advent calendar goes online next month.
All proceeds have been earmarked for charity, the Stony-Broke-Naked-Assed-Middleton-Gals-Xmas-Humper Fund.
At $9.99 a pop it's an absolute steal.
