Written by queen mudder

Monday, 15 November 2010

image for JK Rowling 'paid Chandlers' ransom' furor
Kiss my ass, you Somali muggles!

Edinburgh - (Pirate Ass Mess): Did self-publicising philanthropisst and children's author JK Rowling pay Somali pirates to release Paul and Rachel Chandler?

A look of playful glee on her finely botoxed - er...chiselled! - features may belie the secret of the yachting couple's freedom.

"What a marvellous publicity coup!" Our Man in Modagishu commented today as the Chandlers signed up for a worldwide book deal on their year-long ordeal.

"Could rake in more $$$s than all 33 Chilean minors (sic) put together," a Foreign Orifice liaison person concurred, "with the Treasury's potential VAT receipts enough to spearhead a massive recession turnaround!"

The couple are heading back home to the UK where a huge welcome committee awaits them.

Daniel Radcliffe is 69.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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