British Government to steal an hour of everybody's life

Funny story written by IainB

Monday, 1 November 2010

image for British Government to steal an hour of everybody's life
Scots and English in different time zones?

After failing to wake up on time for parliament due to a small bug in their iPhone alarm system that failed to account for British Summer Time ending and Greenwich Mean Time resuming, government ministers are planning on scrapping the changing of the clocks twice a year.

Rather than scrap it prior to the change to British Summer Time and keeping Britain on GMT all year round, the plan is to have longer light evenings by scrapping the change from BST back to GMT, effectively making it summer all year round.

However, this would mean that Greenwich would be permanently an hour away from Greenwich Mean Time.

It would also mean that everybody living in England and Wales would have an hour taking off them that they never get back. Part of the having to get up an hour early in spring is that in Autumn the British get a lie-in, meaning that they can forgive the early rising.

Additionally, Scotland do not wish to follow the proposal.

During the summer, both England and Scotland would be in the same time zone, whilst after the clocks go back for the Scots, they would stay the same for the English, rending the two countries out of step in terms of time for the first time since the 1700s when standard time was introduced. This could have interesting results as the two countries share a lot of infrastructure that would be rendered confused by the switch. Rail timetables would have to cater for it, as would any computer systems shared by the NHS or the like. It would also allow the Scots a lie-in denied the English. Something the English could never allow.

"It's a bit barmy," said Boris Johnson. "And what happens when we get back round to summer time? Are we going to still go forward an hour? Madness, I tell you. Unless it's Cammer's idea, then it's genius. Has anybody told Dave Gorman?"

As usual, nobody has asked the Welsh their opinion.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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