We can exclusively reveal that Procrastination has sensationally been exposed as the thief of time and was today sentenced for 10 years.
Speaking for Scotland Yard Officer James McSporran told us "Well, we've suspected this for quite some time but have never quite got round to doing anything about it. Then eventually we put a surveillance team in place and that's when we nailed it."
Lawyer for the defence Mr H Cokey said "Quite frankly this is a disgrace. My client has wrongly been convicted for 10 years for a crime he has not committed. Believe me we will be appealing. But not today - maybe tomorrow."
Prosecuting Lawyer Ms C Rack commented "This is a triumph for this country. At last we can all stop putting off till tomorrow what we can do today. Quite frankly I blame the unions."
More on this when we get it - although probably with a 24 hour delay.