Coleen Rooney's Knockers - Give It A Rest Says PR Guru

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Monday, 1 November 2010

image for Coleen Rooney's Knockers - Give It A Rest Says PR Guru

A top London PR agent has sprung to the defence of Coleen and Wayne Rooney.

They have been in the glare of the media spotlight since their trip to Dubai during which they have been seen knecking expensive champagne and generally living it up.

And there has been endless speculation about the size of Coleen's bosom.

But PR guru Barry Sparrow of top London agency The Firm, says it's time for the knockers to back off.

When we called for his take on the Rooneys' situation, he said: "F*** me! Don't you c***s ever give it a f*****' rest? What in the name of f*** have Coleen and Wayne ever f*****' done to you?

"Look, f***face, so they're having a f*****' break. What's wrong with that? They f*****' deserve it if anyone does.

"Wayne carried England during that brilliant World Cup campaign, and if it wasn't for him, that Manchester Rovers would be some crappy little outfit wallowing in the third division. I'm not sure that his boss there, Fergus Alexson, realises that.

"And Coleen has her business empire to run. Literally hundreds of young girls look to her as a role model.

"Plus they are wondeful parents to little what's his f*****' name.

"C***s like you can't imagine the f*****' pressure these two are under. Give them a break."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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