Dorothy Comm of West Sutton has applied to change her name by deed poll as she is fed up of hearing her name mentioned in just about every advert on television and radio.
"It has got ridiculous in recent months," said Dot. "It was bad enough after I'd completed medical school and people called me Doctor Dot, then giggled. Now at the end of every beer commercial somebody says 'Visit Drink Aware, Dot Comm', and there's a similar ones at the end of commercials for loans, online bingo and legal claims."
Dorothy even got divorced from her husband of twenty years, Eric Dash, because her name at the time caused hilarity among people she met, asking if she was any relation of Morse.
"Taking my mother's maiden name was a possibility," Ms Comm said. "However, a friend pointed out that May-Trisk would make me sound like a printer. My grandmother's maiden name was Tay. That cannot be bad, I thought. Until I realised that I would make me Dotty."
Dororthy's neighbour suggested amalgamating her three daughter's married names into one surname, but Coe-Yough-Kay was also a non-starter, and Dorothy couldn't bear to arrange them out of age order or leave any of her daughters out.
"In the end," said a despondent Dorothy, "I resorted to opening the telephone directory at random, but I'm sure fate hates me as much as my mother for calling me Dorothy. I couldn't take Horgue or Highey, because those are too similar to more of those blasted web thingies."
Dorothy eventually decided to name herself after her favourite television programme, and is now to be known as Dorothy House.
Nobody has had the heart to tell her.