Venerable children's story book character, Winnie the Pooh,has filed an application before Her Majesty's Court to change his name from "Winnie the Pooh" to "Winnie the Shitz".
"Yo!Yo! Listen up, Homies." said the newly liberated bear at a hastily called news conference, "Me and my peeps be taking over! Know what I mean?". The bear, in gangsta attire and sporting a couple of new prison tattoos-a tear drop beneath one eye and the letters "C", "R", "O", "B", "B", "I", and "N" across his knuckles-went on to explain his desire to change his name and start a new life.
"I've been using "Winnie The Shitz" for a long time, but now it's time to make it legal, you know? There's just way too many posers out there want to steal your image and as everybody knows there's just one "Winnie the Shitz". That's me!"
The formerly mild mannered bear refused to talk about the ugly inter-species incident that landed him in prison, focusing instead on what he observed inside, especially the nine months he served in solitary confinement, where he had plenty of time to fine tune his ideas for a new kind of gangsta.
What has emerged is a visibly hardened criminal mind combined with the kind of physique one can only acquire in a prison exercise yard. And while no police were present at this news conference you can be sure they were taking careful notes.
Winnie The Shitz, and his cohorts, Eyesore, and Neggar concluded the news conference by shouting, "Let's bounce!" with Neggar adding "Yo! YO! Neggars love to bounce, you all!"