Following the startling announcement that 9 out of 10 new born males in the UK are now named Mohammed, the Council for Registered Births has started to encourage citizens to be 'a little more creative in naming their newborn!"
Mohammed O'Riley a notary public in Glastonbury, and keeper of the area's birth records, seconded the idea as being "certainly something that should be considered....a name is not something to take lightly!"
In Dublin, Mohammed McCarthy seconded the notion. "It's gotten pretty bad over here....I'm on the job and call out for me apprentice Mohammed for some more roofing tar and the next thing I know I've got 6 Mohammeds and one Mamood climbing up onto the roof staging! Pitiful! Overly Redundant!"
School Proctor Mohammed Von Keitle, a strict German disciplinarian, said it was tough on him trying to grade papers in his class. "Read one Mohammed paper you've read them all...finally had to require the little buggers to attach a picture to their work...wouldn't do to give a work shy bastard an A and have a Motivated Mohammed fail! Wouldn't do. Wouldn't do atall."
Said Ian Bahawalanzai, proprietor of a kabob take away near Portsmouth, "I don't get it...I couldn't wait to get here and change my name and start me own business and blend in like...this Mohammed business seems foolish to me, especially since all these folks here love their bacon and never tan!"
Sean Chaugwani a call center host who's been in the UK for about 8 hours said, " I hear talk...big to do....big movement sweeping the country...just look,
Tony Blair's sister in law now calls herself Fatima, wears hijab, prays 5 times a day...shocking development! Personally, I don't get it...but hey, I have job and new name so how you say, " What The Fook"...hey, I be getting it now! Eh?