Written by Bill Licks

Wednesday, 27 October 2010

image for Single women in their 30s to be sent back to Venus
Who needs a man when you've got a Big Mac

The Government has announced plans to send all single women between the ages of 30 and 40 back to the planet Venus in an effort to restore peace and harmony in society.

The move comes about after extensive research by the Office of Unprovoked Moaning found that civil unrest, particularly in the work place can be linked to the increase in numbers of sexually frustrated women over the age of 30 who are not currently in a relationship.

A spokesman said, 'The combination of being dumped by a long term boyfriend in their late 20s, a dislike of the gym and any form of exercise, and a belief that their cat loves them unconditionally has turned these women into over sensitive, self pitying Gorgons who stop at nothing to bring anyone within their immediate radius down to the levels of despair that they are currently experiencing.'

'The decision to blast them out of the earths atmosphere towards a planet that is bit too close to the sun to be able to support any life form may be a bit extreme but we feel its for the best.'

'After all, it is where they came from apparently.'

Women up and down the country have been frantically joining dating websites in an effort to prove that they are no longer single.

'I'll take anyone' said Angela Smith from Richmond 'As long as he's aged between 38 and 45; has never been married and doesn't have children; owns a detached property preferably in Surrey; works in the City and earns a six figure salary; has his own hair and teeth; enjoys luxury holidays; drives a Porsche; must love cats; between 5' 11'' and 6' 1'' tall; athletic and toned; good at DIY; will get on well with my mother; and accepts that he should not look at any other woman on the planet or will have his testicles removed.'

'But other than those conditions I really will take anyone.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Women, Venus




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