Women's questions finally answered

Funny story written by Proffitt

Wednesday, 13 October 2010


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'Does my bum look big?' 'Yes'

A new Men's magazine called Top Hooters has conducted a scientific experiment to find out what men are really thinking when women ask them those typical questions. Titled 'What Planet Are We On,' it tries to address the divide between the male and female way of thinking.

Psychologists asked 100 women to write down the questions they ask their men most frequently and under controlled conditions they then injected 10 men with a truth type serum and asked them to answer each one. The results make startling reading, if you're a female however not so if your male. See what you think as we print a selection below.

Does my bum look big in these? My life, yes! You putting on weight?

What are you thinking? Football, sex, sex while playing football.

Do you find her attractive? You mean the girl in bikini with the long legs and huge breasts? Of course I do.

Do you love me? No. I just want to poke you.

What would you do if I died? Marry my girlfriend.

Do you ever masturbate? Yes, furiously while thinking about your sister.

Which dress should I wear tonight, the one on the right or the left? The right.
My right or yours? Who the fuck cares?

Are you listening to me? Sorry, what did you say?

Why won't you answer me?

Why don't you leave the toilet seat down? I do, when I have a crap.

Why do you always have the remote control? Technology is dangerous in the hands of women.

What do you mean, can we just be friends? It means fuck off, we're over.

Where are we? I don't know you have the map for Christ's sake.

I hope you don't think your putting that up there? You need more alcohol.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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