So great are the number of Gay MPs now in the House of Commons that the Speaker has ordered a new set of public toilets especially for the gay members.
Partitions have been removed between urinals and in their place large magnifying mirrors have been mounted.
Along side the bars of rose perfume soap and Egyptian cotton towels is a special dispenser on the wall which dispenses disposable tape measures with centimetres labelled as inches.
The old soap dispensers have been renovated and now dispense KY.
Small opening windows have been installed in all the stalls, each of which has a special white board and pens for MPs to leave their phone numbers and messages.
A condom machine, behind the door, automatically issues a Parliamentary receipt for members to use to claim the cost back on their expenses.
No expense has been spared with red and green toilet seats to distinguish the two lavatories for members from the other place. The two red seated cubicles have pillows in case the occupants fall asleep, and real ermine toilet wipes.
The speaker, Sylvester 'Big Boy' Brokeback-Wilde said, "We have to be sensitive to other people, darling, I want them to feel at home."
