Website pulls North Face holdall customer review section

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Sunday, 3 October 2010


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Whaddyamean 'designed for travelling in the harshest conditions?'

London - (Lost Luggage News): A website marketing the North Face holdall - similar to the one that bagged up MI6 cryptographer Gareth Williams - has pulled its customer reviews offline.

Last week the site had displayed dozens of personal testimonials recommending the purpose built sports carrier described as 'The Original Hardcore Mountain Holdall!'

Dubbed 'the classic bomber expedition duffel from North Face' its enduring qualities were said to include an upmarket image and capacity for 'travelling in the harshest conditions'.

Today those plaudits have gone, replaced with some technical jargon promoting specialist features such as 'Alpine-cut shoulder straps/D-zip with zipper flap/Dual daisy chains/Rugged construction with extra bartacks and double stitching/Four compression straps/ID pocket on top and Locking zippers'.

An added feature recommends that customers 'remove any marks ... cleaning with a clean damp cloth and leave to dry naturally'.

"We're revamping our customer feedback pages," website admin explained today, "following some negative commentary about the 90-litre holdall's wheeled version capacity 'to take the weight off your shoulders'.

Sir Merlin Warlock has resigned as head of UK counter-intelligence.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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