70% Of Britons Stressed Out Over Work

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Tuesday, 28 September 2010

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Oh God! Is That The Time!

New figures released today reveal the an astonishing 70% of Britons spend sleepless nights worrying about work, for a bewildering variety of reasons.

Since the recession kicked in, British workers have revealed that they are working too hard, for too long, and subjected to such constant pressure that they have difficulty switching off when the working day is finally over.

All this pressure has led to rising levels of illness and is having a demoralising effect on the very people who the nation is relying on to haul us all out of recession.

The problem appears to be spread evenly across a broad spectrum, affecting everybody from burger flippers to Chris Moyles off Radio 1.

A leading psychologist explained that because people were getting so stressed out by work pressures, they were neglecting other areas of their lives, which in turn is only leading to even greater pressure, and heightened social tensions.

"We seem to have lost our way somewhat," leading authority Dr Sukinder Rai explained. "We are missing the most important things in life because we are worrying too much about tomorrow and what it might bring. We need to learn to keep things in perspective. Human beings were not designed to be operated like machinery, and we should always bear this fact in mind, for our own self-preservation."

At which point Dr Rai snatched up his briefcase, and rushed from the room, saying:

"My God! I'm running late! If I miss the seven o'clock train I'll be standing up for the entire journey home on the next one!"

More as we get it.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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