Local man leaves toilet seat up

Written by matthatt

Tuesday, 14 September 2010

image for Local man leaves toilet seat up
When you asked if you could borrow my loo...

Trouble was brewing in a leafy London suburb this morning when the usual domestic bliss behind a generic domiciles facade was shattered by the negligence of an unthinking oaf.

Local resident, Ms Georgia Wolf, awoke as she usually does on a weekday morning, to begin the preparations for going to work.

A quick stretch, a yawn, a lopsided, somnambulant perambulation to the comfort station, for a quick lick and a promise, before tumbling out the door to catch the 217 for another day of coffee and Facebook at the office.

But not so this morning,
upon entering the bathroom, Ms Wolf found all was not as she had left things the previous evening.

Toothpaste tube left with cap open, towel askew on the rail, toothpaste tube squeezed carelessly in the middle, instead of the end to allow proper flow of dental hygiene paste to the applicating aperture and above all else, the most heinous of crimes had been perpetrated in this usually pristine palace of peace and pee-pee.

It began as a low wailing moan, building in pitch and fervour as the young Ms Wolf let out a howl of lupine proportions, that would have done her animal namesake proud.

Her fat, lazy oafish boyfriend had left the toilet seat up and not just the lid either, the whole shebang, seat, lid and crocheted toilet seat cover, all left asunder and open to the elements of the bathroom.

Without further ado, she marched back into the bedroom, where her work shy, job dodging, spoof website bothering boyfriend was still stuck fast in the arms of Morpheus and the duvet, so she let him have it, both barrels. She tore him off a strip for his ungainly water closet habits and then left him laying there to think on what he had done.

And what did he do, ladies and gentlemen? Well, he turned the event into a Spoof news story of course, and then shared it with the world.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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