Written by j.w.

Monday, 13 September 2010

image for Woolas hoping to lose court case
Woolas wants to lose

Former Government minister, Phil Woolas is hoping he will lose his historic case brought by the LibDem M.P. he defeated by 103 votes at the general election.

Elwyn Watkins the Honest, the defeated candidate claims Woolas's team resorted to lying during the campaign.

Elwyn - known locally as 'No to increases in VAT' - is sure to be clobbered for being the Pot calling the kettle black. But he is not upset by this. 'Given the mess left by the last Government, how could you expect us to honest? I will stand up for my principles through thick and thin but there is a limit to integrity.'

Woolas is keen to lose the contest however and would like to simply admit he was at fault. In this way a bye election would be called which, on present showing, he would win in a landslide victory.

'It wasn't our mess we left behind but the banker's mess. People were shitting themselves all over the place - why blame us?' was his parting remark as he waved his white flag.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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