Written by Nick Carr

Monday, 13 September 2010


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Ricky Shat-On
Ricky Hatton

Ricky Hatton's nightmare week has gone from bad to worse after falling victim to what seems to be a targeted fecal attack by a flock of seagulls.

Once famed for his British Bulldog approach to fighting in the ring, the celebrated 'Hitman' is now perhaps better known as the 'Shitman' after this bizarre incident in which a flock of at least 40 seagulls seem to have worked together in evacuating their bowels directly onto Hatton from a great height.

The scene was luckily 'craptured' by an eagle-eyed by-stander and uploaded to popular video website YouTube. Upon viewing, ornithologist Derek Finch branded the incident 'very fishy' and explained how he has never encountered such a phenomenon before:

'This is absolutely unheard of. For a flock of seagulls to plan and implement such a stunt indicates a much greater mental capacity than previously thought of. We know of certain groups of more intellectually developed animals using a singular object as a 'urination point'; that happens throughout the animal kingdom. Perhaps in this case Mr. Hatton is serving the same purpose. Except with shit.'

Whatever the reason behind this avian crapocalypse, it must have left Hatton, marred in recent days by a cocaine scandal, wishing it were only egg on his face.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Ricky Hatton

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
69 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more