Hidden Accounts find UK deficit

Funny story written by Whitters

Sunday, 12 September 2010

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£1 billion pound was lost by Nodrog Pink on an online craps game by getting on all but the winning combination.

Auditors representing Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom and its Colonies (PLC) have released a statement overnight saying that they believe that they have found a substantial part of the UK economy deficit after forcing a number of online companies to reveal transactions.

The statement from Royal Auditors Ltd shows that a number of large transactions were found, including 1 for £2.5million by a Mr Nodrog Pink to WorldLeaderPoker.web which were opened by somebody using the email address nodrog@number10.gov.

Over the course of 12 months, some £3billion pounds was depositied and wagered in online poker games against players with names such as "CavemanAfghan", "RedSqMisl", and "ObamDaPres" with much of it being lost in the first half of 2010 until it abruptly stopped in the early hours on 07 May 2010. The biggest win that was found was by a North Korean player who took a pot of some £4.5billion on a hand of a game called Nuke Stike Poker which from what we can tell involves lots of posing, and verbal betting with no action going on until someone claims to have pressed "The Red Button".

When the story was challenged to the Government Press Office, they commented that "anyone can have a Number10.gov e-mail address if they ask, so we can not prove that this came from inside Downing Street. When we asked the Chancellors office who had access to the UK Governments bank accounts, widely suspected of being in a Post Office Basic Bank Account (due to Experian given the government a "Poor" credit rating), the Press Office commented: "Only the Chancellor and the Prime Minister can make online payments from the Government bank account."

So that narrows it down to two then.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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