Hog Jaw, Arkansas Closes Its Borders To All "Cans," "'Specially Obama, That African!"

Funny story written by Frankie The J

Wednesday, 18 August 2010


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Hog Jaw, Arkansas Closes Its Borders To All "Cans," "'Specially Obama, That African!"
President barack Obama, a "can" is unwelcomed in Hog Jaw and calls out the troops!

HOG JAW, ARKANSAS (ABSNN) -- Hog Jaw, Arkansas;, now the most talked about small town in the U.S., has closed its borders to "cans," namely "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaycans, Cubicans, Moslemcans, Presbytericans, and Unitaricans," says Phlem Lunger, President of the Hog Jaw Chamber of Commerce, Male Enhancement Clinic, and Chicken Pluckers Union 6969.

"We stand united with our brothers and sisters in Arizona, well, not them dirty Mexicans; but the clean, white Arizonians," said Lunger to ABSNN correspondent, Throckmorton Turdblossom, himself a Mormonican.

"President Barack Obama tops the No Entry List at the Hog Jaw International Marijuana Airstrip, Bird Bath and Dildo Emporium," said Lunger, "Cuz he's a damned African. I seen his Birth Certificate, goddammit!"

Obama moved to federalize the Arkansas National Guard, and ordered them to immediately occupy Hog Jaw, a move similar to that of President Dwight D. Eisenhower, who remains dead in Abilene, Kansas, when he called troops to Little Rock in order to enforce court ordered desegregation in the high school there in the 1950's.

"Bring them puissant troops; we got a cannon, if'n Jim E. Crackcorn is out of the hospital yet," threatened Lunger.

"Well, I don't care," said Crackcorn from his kennel.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more